2020: Toilet Paper Tales: A Pandemic Chronicle
Well, who would have thought that 2020 would be the year of the toilet roll, I mean it was meant to be the year of the Rat but the plague this time round was not brought by rats it was brought by God’s knows what from God knows where but the rumour has it that it originated from some wet fish markets in China.
I was in China about five years ago; I travelled all around the big cities doing all the western peoples sightseeing things. I had stopped in Hong Kong on the way up to Xi’an and having then visited wet markets; I can understand how something like Coronavirus could happen.
Good old COVID-19, we are all sick of hearing about it, we are all tired of getting up and the world still talking about it, but one thing is for sure, we had all better learn to get used to it because the world as we knew it has gone, yep, over, null and void, game over type scenario.
Just like you, at the beginning of March, I was reading news articles online, my social was going mad with very fricking scary stories, and I was glued to the tv.
I could feel it coming, and I knew what was happening in my body; initially, I was in denial that the global pandemic was starting to affect me but like it or not every day I started to feel worse.
Lockdown started, and I just like millions of others around the globe had to transition from spending 75% of my working week out meeting with clients to a new virtual reality working from my home. As you all know, it’s not easy, there was a bit of a manic feeling around, I was going out for my social distancing walks at night, and there were a lot of others doing exactly the same thing, but the entire process was triggering so much sh*t in my mind and body that I had no option but to pause and take inventory of what was going on for me.
I don’t mean, step back have a few deep breaths and get on with it. This was about knowing that I was scared, I was scared of losing my job, I was scared about how I would cope emotionally and financially. I was scared about my family who are all at the other side of the world, my routine was thrown into chaos, and my sympathetic nervous system was constantly switched on high alert. I knew I had to do something and get on top of the stress I was living. Otherwise, things would not be ok if I didn’t start to practice what I preach. The last thing I wanted right now was a burn out of which these days it is something of a distant memory, but still, I am under no illusion that I have a susceptibility to the “B” word.
So, I did the sensible thing and took some time off work. It was Easter holidays, I knew that both my mind and body were tired and fatigued and that is the first thing I am aware of when my PTSD is presenting itself again.
Work was good about it and said that they would be encouraging staff to use up holidays. The thing was when I went back to work the following week. I was even more mentally exhausted, I was worried about my family and friends in Northern Ireland and all of a sudden I was reliving the feelings of a sudden traumatic loss that I experienced ten years ago.
I’m not going to get all deep and meaningful here on what started as a bit of a blog about 2020 “The Year of the Bog Roll” but I will take the opportunity to say, never deny yourself what you are feeling, most of you reading this will probably think you know what you are feeling. Still, you don’t and you honestly won’t until you learn to understand yourself more and understand how the mind-body connection works.
The things I have learned have helped me put strategies in place so that I can manage myself through the good times and bad and also through a once in a lifetime God awful time that is COVID-19 without falling in a heap. If you have 15 minutes jump on the link and sign yourself up for a free consult, it might just be one of the best things you have ever done for yourself.
Take care,
NM
